In April this year, a new rule was introduced which requires all divorcing couples to consider mediation before embarking on contested proceedings. Since the introduction of the law, there has been a 20% increase in number of people using mediation and 70% of cases that go through public-funded mediation have a successful outcome.
Mediation can be a quicker and cheaper process than going to court and is usually much less contentious. For couples with children, it can be the better option.
As part of the mediation process, couples meet with a mediator to discuss the division of finances and property and care arrangements for children. Most couples will come to an agreement after three or four meetings but some will then proceed to court for the issues to be decided.
Mediation may not be the right option for every couple. For example, in cases involving domestic violence, matters are probably best decided in court. That’s why mediation is not compulsory.
However, even if you decide to go down the route of mediation, it is still advisable to seek expert legal advice from a solicitor with plenty of experience in this area. Mediation usually works best when both parties have a solicitor. There are plenty of Middlesbrough divorce solicitors to choose from but make sure the firm you choose will approach matters in a constructive way and has the experience to be able to advise you on the full implications of any agreements that you come to.
An example of mediation working well is the case of Chris and Elaine. They had two children, aged 7 and 4 when their marriage broke down. Chris moved out of the family home to live with his new girlfriend. The couple agreed to divorce but could not come to an agreement about care arrangements for their children. The conflict escalated and the children were affected. The 7 year old boy became disruptive at school and the 4 year old girl started having problems sleeping at night. Chris’s solicitor suggested mediation as a possible way forward. Elaine was initially sceptical but agreed to give it a go. Through their mediation sessions, they began to understand each other’s position better and after three sessions, they came to an agreement, which was to be reviewed after six months. Once an agreement was reached, some of the tension in the relationship was eased which helped to improve the children’s behaviour.
Sometimes mediation does not work. Jane, aged 46 was divorcing her husband. They had a baby son together. They went through mediation proceedings but were unable to reach an agreement. Her husband Greg wanted to cut off all contact and obligations in terms of child support but wanted half of Jane’s pension. Greg had also stopped paying the mortgage, even though it was a joint mortgage, in both names. The couple decided to have these issues decided in court but Jane was worried that Greg would lie to the court. However, with support prior to and during the hearing, Jane was able to stay calm and this helped to ensure that all the facts were presented. She was able to keep the house and her pension but had to compromise in other areas.
Staying calm can be extremely difficult during divorce proceedings. Emotions can run high and this is likely to make the process longer and more stressful. A constructive approach is the most useful and a willingness to consider compromise. However, it is important to be assertive and a good solicitor should be able to help you reach an agreement that is fair. Couples often think they can arrange their own divorce using DIY kits or ‘quickie’ online divorce services. However, it is important to have access to legal advice to understand the full implications of what you’re doing. Once a court order is finalised as part of a divorce, you will not be able to go back on it. Decisions made in the heat of the moment when you’re full of different emotions may not necessarily be the best long-term decisions and therefore, it is helpful to have an external party to assist you.
Judith Middleton and Amanda Adeola are members of Resolution, a group of family law solicitors committed to a non-confrontational and constructive approach to divorce. As one of the best firms of Middlesbrough divorce solicitors, this means that Macks’ experts have the experience and knowledge to guide you through the process in a positive and productive way that will have at heart the best interests of you and any children you have but will avoid the types of conflict and confrontation that can make an agreement difficult to reach. You may be hurt, angry and upset and some people will try and use divorce proceedings as a way of punishing their ex spouse, particularly when children are involved, but this is not the best way to come to an agreement that will suit all parties. There are plenty of Middlesbrough divorce solicitors to choose from but Macks will help you build the best agreement that will enable you to get on with your life.
